Why Most Goals Fail: And the Inner Commitment That Changes Everything
- Shantanu Chakraborty
- Aug 21
- 3 min read
Let’s start with a universal truth:
If I had a rupee for every New Year’s resolution that died before February, I’d have enough to buy a gym membership I wouldn’t use.
We’ve all been there.
You set a goal. You’re fired up. You buy the books, download the apps, maybe even post about it on LinkedIn (because accountability, right?).
And then… life happens.
Your enthusiasm fades faster than the battery on your phone during a Zoom call.
The Real Reason Goals Fail (Hint: It’s Not Laziness)
Contrary to popular belief, most goals don’t fail because you’re lazy, undisciplined, or genetically allergic to salads.
They fail because the commitment is external, not internal.
External commitment looks like this:
“I’ll go to the gym because my friends are going.”
“I’ll read more because everyone on LinkedIn is reading 52 books a year.”
“I’ll meditate because my smartwatch says I’m stressed.”
It’s like agreeing to attend a wedding because you like the food—not the couple. You’ll show up, but your heart’s not really in it.
Story Time: The Fitness Goal That Wasn’t About Fitness
A few years ago, I coached someone named Ravi (name changed to protect his vanity).Ravi had a goal: lose 10 kilos in 3 months.
We set milestones, crafted a plan, and even tackled his fridge, which looked like a shrine to processed carbs.
Two weeks later, Ravi was “too busy” to stick to it.
When I asked what was really going on, he admitted:
“Honestly, I only set this goal because my cousin called me ‘Uncle’ at a wedding.”
That’s when it hit him—and me—like a plate of jalebis:
His goal wasn’t his. It was a borrowed goal, born from embarrassment, not desire.
Inner Commitment: The Game-Changer
Inner commitment is when a goal aligns with who you are and who you want to become, not just what you think you should do.
It’s the difference between:
“I have to run 5 km” vs. “I’m a runner.”
“I should network” vs. “I’m someone who builds meaningful relationships.”
“I must read 20 books” vs. “I’m a lifelong learner.”
When your identity supports your goal, discipline becomes less of a whip and more of a compass.
How to Find Your Inner Commitment
Ask “Why?” Five Times
Peel back the layers until you hit the core motivation.
(“Why do I want to write?” → “Because I have something worth saying.”)
See Yourself in the Future
If your future self doesn’t thank you for this goal, it’s probably not worth it.
Make it Non-Negotiable
You don’t “try” to brush your teeth—you just do it. The same mindset works for goals.
Another Story: The Public Speaker Who Was Afraid of People
One client, Priya, told me she wanted to become a better public speaker.Her reason? “It’s good for my career.”
We worked on technique, voice projection, and pacing. Progress? Minimal.
Then one day, in a reflective moment, she said:
“I actually want to speak because I want my daughter to see me as confident.”
Boom. The energy shifted. She didn’t just practice—she owned the stage at her next presentation.
Because it wasn’t about the slides anymore. It was about who she was becoming.
The Takeaway
Goals without inner commitment are like Wi-Fi without a password—everyone has access, but no one’s really connected.
When your goal becomes part of your identity, it stops being a chore and starts being a choice.
So before you set your next big target, ask yourself:Is this really my goal? Or am I just RSVP-ing to someone else’s party?
Over to You:
What’s one goal you set that failed—until you found your real “why”?
Share it. Someone might just need your story to find their own inner commitment.
Comments